John does the Sadayatana podcast (sadayatana.com) and plays live several nights a week on Stillstream (stillstream.com).
He also releases dark and experimental music at Buddhist on Fire (buddhistonfire.com)
On Twitter @tornfleshrecs
"The Kundalin Vortex" was performed live on Stillstream, July 23, 2013.
Done using midi controller, Linux and personal field recordings.
Music fashioned using the buddhalizer --a virtual extension of the imagination.
"That night, the vastation happened again. He woke up feeling hot and slightly drunk. He was still fully clothed, lying on the bed.
Opposite his eyes, the radio droned softly; he had fallen asleep listening to a late night chamber concert.
The room was in darkness, except for the light from the wavelength panel, and the red glow of the neon lights from the cinema over the way.
His mind formed the question as he stared across the room: What am I doing here?
It seemed arbitrary; he might have been anywhere or anything.
A sense of alien-ness oppressed him, and he tried to focus his attention on it to discover its precise nature.
Immediately, an orgasm of fear twisted his heart, and drained the strength out of his will.
It was an awareness that his own existence was not capable of detaching itself from existence to question it.
Existence faced him like a blank wall.
There was an instinctive desire to penetrate the wall,
to assert his reality beyond it,
and a terror that came with the recognition that he was trapped in existence;
that no detachment from it was possible.
The terror was like losing an arm: too violent to hurt.
He came back to his own existence, lying on the bed, with a jerk of relief.
He swung himself off the bed, and crossed the room to switch off the radio, thinking:
Absurd or not, I choose to be here."
-- Colin Wilson "Ritual in the Dark" (1960)
Cover Art by Jeremy Fernsler
Thanks to all the folks at Stillstream and Electro-music (electro-music.com) for their inspiration and support.